It's seems that I may have touched a nerve with some people in stating that I don't believe that children need to have a million dollars spent on them to make them happy and contented human beings. It is an interesting discussion and one I believe with never be agreed upon. Let me just say, that my opinions are my own and if you do not like it, please do not keep reading. I am all for healthy debate but if you become insulting and nasty I will NOT continue the argument. (Just to be clear - this is in real life as well as in blogging/facebook/twittering land).
My son is four years old and has grown up very lucky indeed. He does want for anything. He has a roof over his head, food in his tummy, clothes on his back and a multitude of toys, crafts and thing-a-ma-bits to entertain him on a daily basis. Mostly, he has love, My husband and I adore, idolise and cherish him. As my husband is still not well and I need to work, Ol is looked after by his Dad a few days a week. These are what Ol calls "his most favourite" days.
Can I please share you with a secret? Sometimes, I think that my husbands illness has been the best thing for our little family. Not that I like to see my husband in pain - no it's not that. It is that he gets to spend so much time with our son and I love watching the two of them building lego castles, drawing robots and playing make believe. I feel that Ol is so lucky to be able to spend so much quality time with his Dad before he begins school....and I thank the fates that be for that. Often, my husband will tell me he feels like a failure because he can't work and "provide" for his family. I always answer that our son doesn't need him to provide anything - except love and affection.
Two really interesting blogs talk about this - this continue the conversation:
http://agirlcalledjack.com/
www.freeourkids.co.uk
and a great article:
http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/raising-kids-for-free-why-i-wont-be-spending-money-on-my-son-in-2013-20130116-2cs9a.html
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Mother knows best
Babies are always more trouble than you thought - and more
wonderful. ~ Charles Osgood
When we found out we were going to have baby number two we felt infinitely blessed. To me it was a wonderful gift. However, not all people felt the same. Some people focused on the fact my husband was still unwell and not working and thought it best to tell me we were making a mistake- that children cost money and it was not fair to bring a child into this world while we were in our situation. I have paraphrased what one person ACTUALLY said but you get the drift.
I was so angry, and I guess I still am. Since my husband has been unable to work I have been worried about money but I have never worried about providing what my son or children need - because what they need is love.
Yes, food and shelter and clothing are an important part of their care but that is all part of the love I provide. My son (and future baby) will know they are loved, and adored and blessed because they have a Mummy and a Daddy and that they are wanted. Not because it was an opportune time financially to have a child but because Mummy and Daddy were fortunate to have the chance to welcome them into this world and to love them with all that they have. When my parents found out they were to have both myself and my brother they didn't worry if it was a good time to so financially. They were both blue collar workers- my Mum in a factory, my Dad as a Postman by day and Taxi driver by night. They had a home loan at 18.9 % (yeah, I know) and had all the same money woes that I may be experiencing. However, my brother and I didn't know any of this at the time. All we knew was that we were wanted, and adored, and loved. I always remember my childhood as wonderful.
And that is what I will provide for my children.
I don't live in fantasy land. I know I will need to have savings to cover the mortgage while I take a few months off to be with my new baby. I know that there will be extra costs that babies are always associated with - and that an extra little person in the house will add to our (already tight) budget. But hey, I'm not living the frugal way for nothing! And to me the blessing of another child is worth more than all the riches in the world.
I will be sharing my saving for baby journey here.....stay tuned.
When we found out we were going to have baby number two we felt infinitely blessed. To me it was a wonderful gift. However, not all people felt the same. Some people focused on the fact my husband was still unwell and not working and thought it best to tell me we were making a mistake- that children cost money and it was not fair to bring a child into this world while we were in our situation. I have paraphrased what one person ACTUALLY said but you get the drift.
I was so angry, and I guess I still am. Since my husband has been unable to work I have been worried about money but I have never worried about providing what my son or children need - because what they need is love.
Yes, food and shelter and clothing are an important part of their care but that is all part of the love I provide. My son (and future baby) will know they are loved, and adored and blessed because they have a Mummy and a Daddy and that they are wanted. Not because it was an opportune time financially to have a child but because Mummy and Daddy were fortunate to have the chance to welcome them into this world and to love them with all that they have. When my parents found out they were to have both myself and my brother they didn't worry if it was a good time to so financially. They were both blue collar workers- my Mum in a factory, my Dad as a Postman by day and Taxi driver by night. They had a home loan at 18.9 % (yeah, I know) and had all the same money woes that I may be experiencing. However, my brother and I didn't know any of this at the time. All we knew was that we were wanted, and adored, and loved. I always remember my childhood as wonderful.
And that is what I will provide for my children.
I don't live in fantasy land. I know I will need to have savings to cover the mortgage while I take a few months off to be with my new baby. I know that there will be extra costs that babies are always associated with - and that an extra little person in the house will add to our (already tight) budget. But hey, I'm not living the frugal way for nothing! And to me the blessing of another child is worth more than all the riches in the world.
I will be sharing my saving for baby journey here.....stay tuned.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Tight wad Tuesday
Yiddish proverb: “With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome and you sing well, too.”
Here in Australia, Tuesdays are often regarded as the cheap day of the week. Movie's are often cut price, pizza's are cheaper, pubs offer all night "happy hour" and there are even cut price piercings available. I wanted to take it further- Tight wad Tuesday would be our no spend day of the week.
Now that doesn't sound like much - one day a week of no spending but the one thing I noticed when tracking my expenses was that I hardly ever had a no spend day. Paying for Gas here, milk there, a roll for lunch the next day, a stamp the day after. I wanted one day, one day where I didn't spend a thing. Not a dollar, not a cent, not a brass razoo. Tight wad Tuesday.
Today was my first official day of no spending - and I did not spend a thing. I am hoping this will lead to no spend weeks, fortnights and even months. It's a challenge. For now, four days a month I will be doing no spending.
Will you join me?
For all those for are still spending on a Tuesday, an article to help you save a few dollars.
http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/02/15/daily-proposition-do-tuesday-on-the-cheap/
Here in Australia, Tuesdays are often regarded as the cheap day of the week. Movie's are often cut price, pizza's are cheaper, pubs offer all night "happy hour" and there are even cut price piercings available. I wanted to take it further- Tight wad Tuesday would be our no spend day of the week.
Now that doesn't sound like much - one day a week of no spending but the one thing I noticed when tracking my expenses was that I hardly ever had a no spend day. Paying for Gas here, milk there, a roll for lunch the next day, a stamp the day after. I wanted one day, one day where I didn't spend a thing. Not a dollar, not a cent, not a brass razoo. Tight wad Tuesday.
Today was my first official day of no spending - and I did not spend a thing. I am hoping this will lead to no spend weeks, fortnights and even months. It's a challenge. For now, four days a month I will be doing no spending.
Will you join me?
For all those for are still spending on a Tuesday, an article to help you save a few dollars.
http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/02/15/daily-proposition-do-tuesday-on-the-cheap/
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Make do and mend
We currently live in a throw away society. We live in such an abundant world that without even thinking, we throw out items of clothing, furniture, toys etc when they become worn, threadbare or "holey". Even worse than that, we throw out things just because we want something new or are a bit bored with what with have. Quite sad really. Because things have become so much cheaper in the last few years, we have no qualms about replacing something before it even needs replacing. And we just don't see the value in our everyday goods.
Life hasn't always been like this. A chat to your grandparents or people of the depression/war years will tell about the hardships and that they were expected to "do their bit" and "make do and mend". To make do and mend would be to recall the thrift and frugality of the home front at wartime (one of my favourite obsessions). It was time to learn from my ancestors and make things last longer.
I sometimes used to find myself looking around my house and thinking wouldn't it be nice if I could buy a new.....(insert product- couch, table, rug). If only I could afford a new .....(insert product again) it would really jazz up this room, make my house look lovely, make my day yadda yadda yadda. And then I looked around my home - really looked and found a lot I really love. A lot. My travel trinkets, the furniture we inherited from hubby's beloved Grandpa and all my bits and memories. And I just decided, this will do- I have a roof over my head and my loves ones surrounding me and I really don't need much else. I would make do. HOWEVER, I may need to mend a few things to keep it that way (hee!) I would get the very best out of what I already have.
Above is my couch. We bought this with our wedding money 8 years ago. It was vintage when we bought it (approx made in 1980) but was in fantastic condition when we found it and really good value. It had survived 25 years looking almost new. The leather is still soft but after 8 years and with one very rowdy and rough 4 year old boy, it is showing a bit of wear and tear. A wonderful friend of mine has introduced me to leather conditioner (used on horse saddlery) and I am going to give my old dear couch a once over next week. However, I am not sure what to do about this:
If I had the money, I probably would consider just going out and buying a new couch. Yet, I love this couch. I slept the whole way through my first pregnancy on it, I breastfed my son here and I have held my baby boy in my arms on this couch until he went to sleep many a time (and hope I still have many to come). It really is comfy, seats the three of us perfectly and nothing, NOTHING beats watching a movie all together relaxing and dreaming. So I guess I am blessed to not have money, to see the wonders in this lovely old friend and to spend some time in fixing her up. It will be number one on my list. Wish me luck!
What do you do to make do and mend?
A fantastic read about lessons to be learnt from "Make do and Mend"
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1209530/Make-mend-Thrifty-tips-help-ride-recession.html
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Starting over...sort of
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Nelson Mandela
It's time for starting over. Not that I ever gave up the frugal fascination or that I haven't been following my frugal guidelines but I have been doing it losely. It's time to straighten up and fly right.
I don't really know what happened. I was quite proud of my frugal achievements and still am. I have managed to cut my grocery bill by at least a half and I make 99 % of our evening meals. I use generic ingredients and cheap cuts of meat. I take my lunch to work 50 % of the time and I hardly ever buy take out coffee. I haven't bought a magazine in well over a year and my only "new" books this year were purchased by my husband and given to me for Christmas. I have coloured my own hair and not visited a salon, and I have only just shopped for new clothes because I can't fit into my pre-pregnancy outfits (and I had a voucher for Christmas which covered all of my purchases). I don't waste food - EVER. I have had two garage sales in the past six months and whatever I haven't sold has gone on on-line trading or on freecyle.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb
When I look at the tasks above, I haven't failed at all. The only thing I failed to do was record it on this blog! However, I still need to record my expenses, cut my gift spending and work out where I can be making further cuts. And I do enjoy recording it on this blog. So I will continue.
And I need to be especially frugal now. Especially with our second beautiful baby arriving in May.
I hope you'll join me on my journey....again. Sort of.....
I still looooove this blog and froogs never fails to inspire me...check it out.
http://frugalincornwall.blogspot.com.au/
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
- Nelson Mandela
It's time for starting over. Not that I ever gave up the frugal fascination or that I haven't been following my frugal guidelines but I have been doing it losely. It's time to straighten up and fly right.
I don't really know what happened. I was quite proud of my frugal achievements and still am. I have managed to cut my grocery bill by at least a half and I make 99 % of our evening meals. I use generic ingredients and cheap cuts of meat. I take my lunch to work 50 % of the time and I hardly ever buy take out coffee. I haven't bought a magazine in well over a year and my only "new" books this year were purchased by my husband and given to me for Christmas. I have coloured my own hair and not visited a salon, and I have only just shopped for new clothes because I can't fit into my pre-pregnancy outfits (and I had a voucher for Christmas which covered all of my purchases). I don't waste food - EVER. I have had two garage sales in the past six months and whatever I haven't sold has gone on on-line trading or on freecyle.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb
When I look at the tasks above, I haven't failed at all. The only thing I failed to do was record it on this blog! However, I still need to record my expenses, cut my gift spending and work out where I can be making further cuts. And I do enjoy recording it on this blog. So I will continue.
And I need to be especially frugal now. Especially with our second beautiful baby arriving in May.
I hope you'll join me on my journey....again. Sort of.....
I still looooove this blog and froogs never fails to inspire me...check it out.
http://frugalincornwall.blogspot.com.au/
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Suffer in ya jocks
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. Edgar Allan Poe.
What do you do when you are struggling? I don't mean just struggling with funds, I mean struggling with everything, anything....what's in your mind, what's in your soul, what's in your heart, what's in your purse. I have been down in the dumps for about 3 days now and nothing seems to be able to shake it. And I am worried - because when I have been like this before, I have always handled it one way and one way only. Spending money.
Do you know the type of spender you are? What makes you spend money? Why do you splurge the way you do?
I am what I call a "reward" spender. I over-spend when I feel I deserve something or when I feel I need to reward myself for something going on in my life - when I have done well at something or when I have achieved something. On these days I literally shop till I drop.
Unfortunately, I often feel I need to 'reward' myself when I am having a bad day. To cheer me up. I deserve it. I work hard. I deserve it. I am a good person. I deserve it.
I have been having a few bad days recently. In fact, I feel probably the whole of the last year has been particularly hard. Maybe the last two years- about the time my husband has been unwell and unable to work. And I have had to keep everything going.
Work full time. Pay the mortgage. Keep a roof over our head and food on the table. Pay private medical insurance to ensure my husband gets the care he needs. Send my son to childcare and miss out on spending time with him. Pay the bills. Keep the family together. Work an extra job.
Why shouldn't I spend some money? I deserve it. I work hard. I am a good person. Blah de blah blah blah.
You hear that? You hear my useless justification for spending money? And I don't spend on things we need. It is all things I think we need. Things I often didn't know I even wanted until see it in the shop.
Yet I shouldn't and I can't and I won't because - I don't have it. I don;t have the money. I am struggling enough to pay the bills, let alone buy crap. And crap it is. I know it's crap - and you want to know why? I am surrounded by it. I am enclosed in a house full of "I-deserve-it-I-work-hard" crap, which I bought in the past when I had some extra cash. And it teases me with how much I have spent in the past. On crap. And I wish I now had the money instead. So, I can't spend like that now. And I won't. I have more important things to pay for now.
So for now, until I earn more money and have enough to cover needs AND wants, I need to find another way to get out of the dumps.
Or else- just suffer in my jocks.
What do you do when you are struggling? I don't mean just struggling with funds, I mean struggling with everything, anything....what's in your mind, what's in your soul, what's in your heart, what's in your purse. I have been down in the dumps for about 3 days now and nothing seems to be able to shake it. And I am worried - because when I have been like this before, I have always handled it one way and one way only. Spending money.
Do you know the type of spender you are? What makes you spend money? Why do you splurge the way you do?
I am what I call a "reward" spender. I over-spend when I feel I deserve something or when I feel I need to reward myself for something going on in my life - when I have done well at something or when I have achieved something. On these days I literally shop till I drop.
Unfortunately, I often feel I need to 'reward' myself when I am having a bad day. To cheer me up. I deserve it. I work hard. I deserve it. I am a good person. I deserve it.
I have been having a few bad days recently. In fact, I feel probably the whole of the last year has been particularly hard. Maybe the last two years- about the time my husband has been unwell and unable to work. And I have had to keep everything going.
Work full time. Pay the mortgage. Keep a roof over our head and food on the table. Pay private medical insurance to ensure my husband gets the care he needs. Send my son to childcare and miss out on spending time with him. Pay the bills. Keep the family together. Work an extra job.
Why shouldn't I spend some money? I deserve it. I work hard. I am a good person. Blah de blah blah blah.
You hear that? You hear my useless justification for spending money? And I don't spend on things we need. It is all things I think we need. Things I often didn't know I even wanted until see it in the shop.
Yet I shouldn't and I can't and I won't because - I don't have it. I don;t have the money. I am struggling enough to pay the bills, let alone buy crap. And crap it is. I know it's crap - and you want to know why? I am surrounded by it. I am enclosed in a house full of "I-deserve-it-I-work-hard" crap, which I bought in the past when I had some extra cash. And it teases me with how much I have spent in the past. On crap. And I wish I now had the money instead. So, I can't spend like that now. And I won't. I have more important things to pay for now.
So for now, until I earn more money and have enough to cover needs AND wants, I need to find another way to get out of the dumps.
Or else- just suffer in my jocks.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Not Perfect
I knew that it would happen sooner or later. I knew it because I am not perfect. There, I've said it. Out loud.
I. am. not. perfect.
I spent money. A lot of money. On not so important things. Although I did buy 2 gifts. And not a thing for me personally. And everything was on sale. But I still spent out of my weekly budget. And it was not a small amount.
I went to a well known surf shop to get a "grown up present" for my nearly 16 year old nephew. I got him a lovely mans wallet that was not on sale - for $30. Yet there WERE bargains to be had and I am afraid I got sucked in. I spent $40 on a jumper for my husband (reduced from $120), $34 on a jumper for my friends gorgeous son for his birthday (reduced from $70 - I know, for a kids jumper!) and $10 on a surf t-shirt for my little man which I will wrap up for his birthday(reduced from $30). $114. In one hit. Practically my whole grocery shop for a fortnight. ON GIFTS. However, I would like to notice that I did 'save' approx. $136 for my purchases by buying them during sale time. That's got to count for something doesn't it?
However, I didn't stop spending there.
I bought myself lunch. And a soft drink. $12. (It was yum!)
So. What do I have to learn from my experience? I'm not perfect. I will have some slip ups. I didn't continue spending beyond that and I won't spend for a long while now. Now I have 3 birthday gifts under my belt (purchase for hubby was just a splurge) and I know the recipients will LOVE the gifts bought. I think that I may need to budget for a splurge every now and then. Even if it is for just lunch. I have learnt that I need to be kinder to myself when I do slip up and just get right back to where I was before. And I had a really, really enjoyable lunch. Really.
Life is like that sometimes. But it 's the lessons learnt from our trip-ups that prove invaluable.
I'm not perfect. But who is?
A great blog to read for encouragement even on the darkest days....
http://www.thesimpledollar.com/
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